Research on toxic friendships

"Psychologist Jenn Berman say's  I would say it's someone who, after spending time with them, makes you feel bad about yourself instead of good; someone who tends to be critical of you -- sometimes in a subtle way and sometimes not so subtle; a friend who drains you emotionally, financially, or mentally, and they're not very good for you."

"These signs tell you someone is less friend, more foe. And not surprisingly, it's women who are more likely to be toxic than men, according to Berman. So when your gal pal turns sour and stays that way, you need to start taking control of the relationship if there's any hope of saving it."

"Some toxic friendships jump back and forth between great and awful—that inconsistency can be a red flag.The unpredictability takes a toll on you,” says Levine. “It can make you anxious, nervous, or depressed when you don’t know what to expect from a friend whom you’re supposed to rely on.”

"One of the characteristics of a toxic friendship is that the good friend feels she can't extricate herself from the relationship," says Charles Figley, PhD, professor and director of the Psychological Stress Research Program at Florida State University. "Whether it's on the phone, in person, or from the friendship entirely, you feel like you are trapped, you're being taken advantage of and you can't resolve the problem one way or another."

"Iif someone is constantly depending on you, that’s when it’s toxic.”

From this i have learnt that women are more prone to being in a toxic friendship or becoming toxic. I have also learnt that the 'non-toxic' friend very often feels trapped and helpless and that the toxic friend can be both subtle and not subtle in their approach. Perhaps my character who is toxic can have moments when they are subtle and not subtle.

"By continuing a toxic friendship, you're allowing your friend to hurt you, but you're also hurting yourself. You have to take some degree of responsibility for the situation"

I want both of my characters to have a moment at the end of the play where they both accept and take on the responsibility of being the drivers of their own lives and stop relying on each other to find what it is that they are missing but find it within themselves.

(Research sourced from www.webmd.com and www.realsimple.com)